Let me preface this post with an apology. The content of this post may not be centered on a particular topic, and it may not even "stay the course" with regard to subject matter. For that, I am sorry.
You know a band I've never seen live? The Decemberists. Why hasn't this been an option?
So, I've been doing some math lately. Some cost of living expenses, if you will. Should I move? If so, where? Find a home to rent in Greensburg. Get a place in Indy. Can I afford to buy? Do I want to buy? If I did live in Indy, could I afford to drive to Greensburg everyday to go to work? I suppose, technically speaking, the answer to all of these question is ultimately yes. Does this mean that any of these options would be a wise decision? I don't know. This really doesn't help at all.
Somehow, tonight, this all led me to the following question: What's the true cost of living? Sure, it's a cheesy question. I'm not even entirely sure what it is asking. I don't think it has anything to do with money, that's for sure. Can I even comprehend such a question? I guess in a way, I'm asking, how does one put a price on happiness? Have you ever thought about what truly makes you happy? I don't think I have. Is this weird? How have I lived this long of my life without considering this basic question? Why am I an engineer? Why do I live in Greensburg? Honestly, I don't have an answer, and I'm not sure I'm OK with this anymore. Is what I'm doing now what I want to be doing for the rest of my life?
OK, so admittedly, some of this might have to do with the numerous beers I've ingested this evening. But these things have been boiling under the surface for a while now. A group of us went out for drinks after work today to celebrate the departure of one of our own. Even though it was a sad occasion, we had a great time. Matt is off to St. Louis. And why not, he's got friends there. And, as he put's it, "I'm young, and I'm single, so why not?"
It was great talking to the guys (and girls) that I haven't seen as much of lately. It was easy to get back into the swing of things. Of course, these relationships were built from the five, almost six, years I worked with these people.
Alright. Just as I feared. This post is a complete mess. This post is long. This post should not have been posted. But I took the time to write it, so why not?
Why not?
6 comments:
Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith---whether it's with a relationship...getting a new job...or even moving to a new city (or country).
No matter the choices that you make your family and friends will be there for you. (Unless you inexplicably start rooting for the Patriots than we would probably have some issues)
Those are all good questions. Being the social animals that we are, spending time with friends and family can help to alleviate the more superficial (for lack of a better work) problems that we have. That is part of being happy.
As far as discovering and achieving your dreams go, everyone in the world is blazing that trail, but most of us are too afraid to get our hands dirty.
I know what out of work science fiction writer Kilgore Trout would say: "Being alive is a crock of shit."
But I prefer what Max Fischer says, "I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore."
The way I see it you've got to balance doing a bunch of things that you want to do, and that starts with figuring out a way to get someone to pay you for doing something you like.
This was a solid post. Rack it.
You are not alone in struggling with these issues. I spend too much time considering what's most important to me. We moved back to Indiana b/c family is really important to us and it seemed bullshit that we lived so far away. It was a compromise we were willing to make. We had to leave great friends, a giant mountain, and tasty beer to be closer to family and friends here. I don't regret the decision but I do think about it, and I definitely miss Seattle. I still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I've had jobs but no career, and the only thing I've really ever loved was school.
I guess my bottom line is you're not alone, and the fact that you are struggling with these issues is a good thing, becuase it means you haven't given up and settled. You have a lot of options. And you have a lot of people who care about you and will be here no matter what you decide to do (Patriots fan, excluded, apparently).
word.
i've been dealing w/this since i was maybe 14 or 15. i lost focus and my dreams for a few years (see ages 24 thru 28), but have really started to put more effort in to my life of late. it's time for us to buy a house and put some effort into moving back to hawaii.
existential wonderings can lead you all kinds of places. wherever you head, we got your back.
All good questions. What truely makes us happy? To answer that perhaps ask yourself the opposite question. What would make you most sad if you lost it? For me, and I'd venture to say for most of you, the answer is our relationships with friends and family.
As far as cost of living... I'd suggest thinking of it in terms of opportunity cost. What must you give up when choosing one path over another? What will you miss out on? I asked myself these questions when thinking about moving overseas. What will having two years of international experience mean for my future? Does it constitute putting my Indy life on hold for a couple years? What might I be giving up if I didn't come to England? We shall see.
I like where your head is at (even if it took alcohol to put you in that state of mind). Keep us abreast of any new develpoments. And I agree with everyone above.. whatever you decide, we all have your back.
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